I thought I was me, not a syndrome. In the months that followed I went through the diagnostic process and a whole gamut emotions. I was tired of what I saw as my accommodation of the rest of the world when all I had received were contempt, anger, and frustration. Though I received a tremendous amount of criticism it was rarely constructive. I found your blog. It was filled with eerily similar ideas. The comments from other posters were things I could relate to.
For the first time I felt like I fit in somewhere. It was fabulous! I received a diagnosis today and although I have not formally met you, sctually that is one of the best things because I can do this with letters instead of sound, I feel the overwhelming need to thank you and the many commenters for being my guides through introspective and sometimes volatile journey to self acceptance.
Your writing is fantastic and blissfully free of political crap. I like that there is now a space for me to be me in all my terse and brutal honesty.
who and what
Your comment made my day yesterday. I am an over NT woman who has fallen madly in love with an Aspie man. He says he is in love with me, too. We are both divorced. He has been at the same company for 10 years. He is independent, somewhat social, and has friends who respect and care for him.
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I met him at a sci-fi gathering, because I share all of his interests in science and science fiction. I have degrees in biology and computer science, so I never get tired of our discussions. Spock was my hero when I was a girl, so we joke about that and he gives me Vulcan kisses as well as Human ones. Do you think we have a shot at making a marriage work? I do think that AS-NT marriages can work for obvious personal reasons if both partners are willing to understand what it means to be autistic and how that impacts communication and interaction for both partners.
I find it depressing and not that reflective of my experiences. Like anything else, your relationship is going to be what you make of it and will depend on the two people involved. It sounds like you and your boyfriend are well matched. My husband is a bit of a geek too and that really helps.
It can definitely work and work well. Which is what blogging is all about…kinda? I hope things are well and shall continue to be so for quite some time. The similarities to me are uncanny. I too was 42 when AS, the shoe situation, the lucky in love 20 years now , my eyes are green with gold discovered a year ago , make up etc.
I live on a bush block in Australia so I regularly come into contact with venomous snakes. I have been meaning to ask you about one possible aspect of AS. As a child I hated my photo being taken. So much that I would go to extreme lengths to hide at family functions until the cameras disappeared. As a kid I never understood how people could like having their photo taken. Even now, I loathe it. I always look really uncomfortable in any photo — never seem to smile or hold myself properly. He is a gorgeous boy but always looks awkward in photos.
He cringes anytime a camera appears. I was just curious if this was common. I think the photo aversion is quite comment in people with AS. I actually wrote about how much I dislike most photos of myself and all the photos of myself that I threw away before a recent move. I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciated your ebook. I downloaded it a couple of weeks ago and it was exactly what I needed at exactly the moment I needed it, and I love how clearly and concisely you detailed everything out.
Thank you!! Cynthia, my name is Morgan Crutcher. I have Aspergers Syndrome, and as an undergraduate psychology student I find that topic particularly interesting. I also notice the gross misrepresentation of women in research about autism. I would be ver interested in having a conversation with you. That sounds like a huge undertaking. Found your anger post through google then came to this page.
I have forwarded your anger post to my husband and Dad. I have a son who is just so angry. I have wondered more than a little if he has Aspergers. Truth be told, I have some seriously Aspie tendencies. My Dad, whom I also emailed the link, has some neurological differences too, so he seems to really understand my son and tries his best to help him.
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Can I ask you if it is normal for an Aspie to spew really colorful language during angry episodes? My son does this, but only when he is in one of these anger moments. It really upsets me, but more than anything it upsets me because this is so out-of-character for him. Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for sharing here.
The Other Side of Thirty: Musings of a Modern Day Bachelor Gal by Manisha Thakor
I am definitely going to be reading more of your blog after I get my family fed and later tonight when little ones are in bed. Thanks so much for your willingness to be vulnerable and share here. Inhibition of actions including language is a cognitive function and intense stress of being angry or the situation leading up to the anger can strain cognitive function, making it harder to self-regulate.
That would explain why he only does it in certain circumstances. Just a thought. Thank you for making me feel for the first time in almost a year that I am not alone. Thank you for helping me believe that I am might be alright the way I am — forever autistic. Due to a lot of personal factors I really struggle to accept the diagnosis that I received 11 months ago. A 24 hour long initial euphoria of finally understanding with perfect clarity why my life had played out just the way it had until that moment, was soon followed by despair and depression. The finality of never being able to obtain the standard I had set for myself, that of becoming one day a good parent, a good daughter, sister, friend or even person hit me hard.
Almost a year later, after quite some therapy, self-analysis and self-education, I am happy to say that I have already progressed from this bleak picture to an understanding that I can be a different-but-good-enough parent, daughter, sister, friend and person in general. I have had the pleasure of discovering your well formed thoughts on a lot of topics that are so important to people like us. I look forward to reading the rest of your blog. While reading your posts and the comments of some other readers, I have felt for the first time that I belong to a community and that I am not alone.
Thank you for this. Thank you for taking the time to let me know how much this impacted you.
- The Other Side of Thirty: Musings of a Modern-Day Bachelor Gal.
- Catalina Dragonfly (Appaloosa Metallica #11).
- Chapter Two.
- Bachelor girls, mistresses and the New Woman heroine in: Odd women?;
- musings of madness — LiveJournal.
- Black City (A Black City Novel);
There is a period of mourning and letting go that most of us seem to experience as we change our view of ourselves and our expectations of life. I discovered your blog recently and am devouring it obsessively. Thank you for opening me up to the possibility that I may be an aspie. I was born and raised in a high sensory overload culture SE Asia so I must have calibrated but overload happens, even now. A few weeks back, after a multi hour DMV wait, I cried in public. It was so humiliating.
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I am so logical and rational and composed , but then it felt like I was out of my body. As usual I recovered quickly too. Would you , one day, consider writing a post about God and religion and aspie beliefs? I am an agnostic because the thought of God overwhelms me, but as a rationalist I probably should have been atheistic, right? Oh my gosh, the DMV! I had an epic meltdown after spending four hours at the DMV one afternoon. That might be a good conversation starter. All through this site is me, my traits, thoughts, struggles. I did one of the Aspie tests, the questions made me laugh — surely everyone gets annoyed by tags on their clothes, have trouble with authority, need to relax for ages after social interaction and hates noisy workplaces?
Hi Cynthia, thank you for your awe inspiring service here on the internet. I just found the Autism Womens Network on the web and on their facebook page they posted your article on Regression. Could you please put a link here so that I might make copies of this to share with folks. I have more to say, yet this is enough today. Thank you for the lovely comment.